Dammit Cat,
Do not chew on plants for attention. Do not meow so that we are looking at you and then lean forward to chew the flowers.
ESPECIALLY do not do this when it is Valentines and there is a potted tulip sitting on the table that was a gift.
When we do a quick Google search and find out that tulips are toxic to cats and then take the tulip outside after making sure that you just put some bite marks in it, do not make sad noises. Do not stare out the window at the tulip like it was the best toy ever. Also, please do not spend the rest of the day being annoyed at the fact that I am constantly checking on you to make sure that you are not drooling or otherwise acting stranger than normal.
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