Dammit Cat,
I'm glad I caught you in time. There I was, just about to leave the house, when you trotted down the stairs holding something in your mouth. You immediately went to your little 'treasure corner' where you put ALL the stuff you steal, and spat out... A foot.
A doll foot. I'd taken a doll apart to clean it and you took just that little foot, oh so delicately, and tried to hide it from me.
Only in this house can that happen, I swear.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Perils of Indoor Kittyhood
Dammit Cat,
You got up there, so why can't you get down?
I realize that, as an indoor cat, you do not have any trees to become stuck up in. Was the ladder a close enough substitution for you to be unable to get down on your own?
I watched you climb up on it. You took it rung by rung. I watched you use your new-found height to get up on cabinets that you had never before reached. I watched you get back on it, and go one rung down. Then you stopped.
Despite being right next to the island and with a counter on the other side (either of which you could have easily jumped down on), you froze. You started to howl and fuss.
You didn't even flail like usual when I picked you up and set you on the floor.
Is it something in your little kitty DNA? You can get up and down off of the entertainment center and it's higher than the ladder. Heck, you can get in and out of your cat tree, and it's the same height.
Oh
Is it like some sort of kitty kryptonite? Some self-destruct in your little cat brain?
Whatever it is, I know that even though you either can't or won't get down off of a ladder, the second one is out again you'll be climbing up onto it.
You got up there, so why can't you get down?
I realize that, as an indoor cat, you do not have any trees to become stuck up in. Was the ladder a close enough substitution for you to be unable to get down on your own?
I watched you climb up on it. You took it rung by rung. I watched you use your new-found height to get up on cabinets that you had never before reached. I watched you get back on it, and go one rung down. Then you stopped.
Despite being right next to the island and with a counter on the other side (either of which you could have easily jumped down on), you froze. You started to howl and fuss.
You didn't even flail like usual when I picked you up and set you on the floor.
Is it something in your little kitty DNA? You can get up and down off of the entertainment center and it's higher than the ladder. Heck, you can get in and out of your cat tree, and it's the same height.
Oh
Is it like some sort of kitty kryptonite? Some self-destruct in your little cat brain?
Whatever it is, I know that even though you either can't or won't get down off of a ladder, the second one is out again you'll be climbing up onto it.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
"Helping"
Dammit Cat,
I know that you clearly want to be involved in what I'm doing, especially when what I'm doing is not paying attention to you when I clearly should be. I do appreciate your help. However, let's lay down some rules, shall we?
Rule 1: When I'm measuring out fabric on the floor, it is not necessary to hold it down. I do appreciate the thought though.
Rule 2: When I'm rolling up that fabric to store it, please don't attack my toes. They are not attacking me, or whatever it was you thought.
Rule 3: Yes, I WAS reaching for that thread! Thank you for knocking it off the desk and running downstairs with it. Again. Especially because it's the only spool I have in the color I need.
Rule 4: Leave the pattern paper alone. Also, do not attack my hand when I try to pull the pattern paper away.
Now that we've gone over those, I think we can have a nice, productive craft time.
....Dammit! Where did that thread go?!
I know that you clearly want to be involved in what I'm doing, especially when what I'm doing is not paying attention to you when I clearly should be. I do appreciate your help. However, let's lay down some rules, shall we?
Rule 1: When I'm measuring out fabric on the floor, it is not necessary to hold it down. I do appreciate the thought though.
Rule 2: When I'm rolling up that fabric to store it, please don't attack my toes. They are not attacking me, or whatever it was you thought.
Rule 3: Yes, I WAS reaching for that thread! Thank you for knocking it off the desk and running downstairs with it. Again. Especially because it's the only spool I have in the color I need.
Rule 4: Leave the pattern paper alone. Also, do not attack my hand when I try to pull the pattern paper away.
Now that we've gone over those, I think we can have a nice, productive craft time.
....Dammit! Where did that thread go?!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Easiest Path
Dammit Cat,
You have a full bowl of food. It is out where you can easily get to it. That is why I have to ask-why did you make a giant mess to get to a piece of dog food?
Yes, it fell behind the holder that the dog's water bowl is in. Did that mean that you had to figure out how to shove the holder aside to get to it? While I am impressed with your single-minded determination to get a single little treat, it hardly seems worth flooding half the kitchen over. What makes it more baffling is the fact that whenever I offer you a piece of dog food, you ignore it.
Is the work making it taste all the sweeter?
...Wait. You... You pushed the holder out and splashed water everywhere to get to the dog food, then you just [i]left the piece in the middle of the floor[/i].
You have a full bowl of food. It is out where you can easily get to it. That is why I have to ask-why did you make a giant mess to get to a piece of dog food?
Yes, it fell behind the holder that the dog's water bowl is in. Did that mean that you had to figure out how to shove the holder aside to get to it? While I am impressed with your single-minded determination to get a single little treat, it hardly seems worth flooding half the kitchen over. What makes it more baffling is the fact that whenever I offer you a piece of dog food, you ignore it.
Is the work making it taste all the sweeter?
...Wait. You... You pushed the holder out and splashed water everywhere to get to the dog food, then you just [i]left the piece in the middle of the floor[/i].
Monday, July 4, 2011
Pretty Girl
Dammit Cat,
You are not one of the velociraptors from Jurassic Park. You have never seen that movie, so far as I know.
So why is it that you jiggle door handles? Or that you even know to do that? Honestly, there is almost nothing creepier than going to the bathroom and hearing the door knob rattle, and then seeing your paws hooking underneath the door.
I cannot even express how happy I am that we have round door knobs and not the hook type, because I have absolutely no doubt that you would be able to open those. I know what would happen then. I would look up from my bed one night and the door would swing wordlessly open, like in some horror movie, and as soon as I got up to check you would attack my ankles from under the bed, bringing me down for the kill.
Or maybe I just watched too many horror films. Either way, thank goodness we've got the round kind. Now PLEASE let me pee in peace!
You are not one of the velociraptors from Jurassic Park. You have never seen that movie, so far as I know.
So why is it that you jiggle door handles? Or that you even know to do that? Honestly, there is almost nothing creepier than going to the bathroom and hearing the door knob rattle, and then seeing your paws hooking underneath the door.
I cannot even express how happy I am that we have round door knobs and not the hook type, because I have absolutely no doubt that you would be able to open those. I know what would happen then. I would look up from my bed one night and the door would swing wordlessly open, like in some horror movie, and as soon as I got up to check you would attack my ankles from under the bed, bringing me down for the kill.
Or maybe I just watched too many horror films. Either way, thank goodness we've got the round kind. Now PLEASE let me pee in peace!
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