Dammit Cat,
The snails NEED to stay in the water. You notice how they are in a saltwater aquarium? They need to stay there.
I need to not hear an odd noise and go in to find one on the floor, still dripping wet.
No, I don't believe for a second that it wasn't you. You were standing in the room, trying to look innocent, and snails don't jump.
Seriously. Leave. The tank. Alone.
And while we're on the subject... Where in the HELL is the eel?! I'm assuming it jumped out since it's nowhere to be found, but did you eat it?
.....I bet you ate it.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Not A Snack
Dammit Cat,
When there is a bowl by the fish tank, that is not some sort of snack bowl set out just for you. It is also not a punch bowl. It is, in fact, a brand new coral being drip-acclimated so that it won't die the minute it's put in the tank.
Now that I've explained that, perhaps you see why it was so awful for you to fish the coral out, fling it aside, and drink out of the bowl.
Not only is that salt water bad for you (even though you drink it at every opportunity) but that coral is alive. Yes, you broke a piece off. Fortunately we were able to save both pieces, but even with us suddenly having two pieces instead of one that does not excuse your attempted coral murder. Does it flavor the water somehow? I don't really care.
On a very much related note, please stop trying to drink out of the fish tanks. It disturbs the fish, and one day you're going to fall in.
When there is a bowl by the fish tank, that is not some sort of snack bowl set out just for you. It is also not a punch bowl. It is, in fact, a brand new coral being drip-acclimated so that it won't die the minute it's put in the tank.
Now that I've explained that, perhaps you see why it was so awful for you to fish the coral out, fling it aside, and drink out of the bowl.
Not only is that salt water bad for you (even though you drink it at every opportunity) but that coral is alive. Yes, you broke a piece off. Fortunately we were able to save both pieces, but even with us suddenly having two pieces instead of one that does not excuse your attempted coral murder. Does it flavor the water somehow? I don't really care.
On a very much related note, please stop trying to drink out of the fish tanks. It disturbs the fish, and one day you're going to fall in.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
That's Yours
Dammit Cat,
That thing? That thing that you keep biting and that keeps hitting you in the head?
That's your foot.
Stop that.
I know that it's a back foot and therefor something you don't see often, but you could seriously stop just kicking yourself in the head over and over and attacking it. Normal cats bite their tails. Try that.
Seriously though. You need those brain cells. Knock it off.
No, that's still your foot.
That thing? That thing that you keep biting and that keeps hitting you in the head?
That's your foot.
Stop that.
I know that it's a back foot and therefor something you don't see often, but you could seriously stop just kicking yourself in the head over and over and attacking it. Normal cats bite their tails. Try that.
Seriously though. You need those brain cells. Knock it off.
No, that's still your foot.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Ooh La La
Dammit Cat,
Are you opening a salon? You keep stealing nail files. All of them. And the clippers.
We tried hiding one of the nail files behind a stack of magazines and you simply shoved the entire stack onto the floor to get at the nail file.
You will pull the drawer with the nail files open if it's not shut completely, even if it's just got a tiny crack open.
You now come running from wherever you were in the house when you hear someone file their nails.
So.... When does the salon open up? Because by my count, you've outright stolen three nail files and maybe a pair of clippers. There's absolutely no sign of them in any of the spots we've found where you like to hide things. Did you eat them? I'm beginning to think you ate them.
Oh well. I encourage you to play with them when you can get them-at least they might dull your claws just a little bit.
Are you opening a salon? You keep stealing nail files. All of them. And the clippers.
We tried hiding one of the nail files behind a stack of magazines and you simply shoved the entire stack onto the floor to get at the nail file.
You will pull the drawer with the nail files open if it's not shut completely, even if it's just got a tiny crack open.
You now come running from wherever you were in the house when you hear someone file their nails.
So.... When does the salon open up? Because by my count, you've outright stolen three nail files and maybe a pair of clippers. There's absolutely no sign of them in any of the spots we've found where you like to hide things. Did you eat them? I'm beginning to think you ate them.
Oh well. I encourage you to play with them when you can get them-at least they might dull your claws just a little bit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)