Dammit Cat,
Sometimes, we give you treats. Tonight, it was a very special night and you'd been terrorized earlier by a five year old hyped up on sugar, and so tonight we decided to give you a tiny piece of ham. Yes, it was only about the size of a nickle, but it was still a treat.
But dammit! If we're offering you a treat, do not insist that we just stand there holding it while you lick it. You wouldn't take a bite, oh no. I just was expected to sit there, offering it up for you to taste. Finally you did eat it, but only after I gave half to the dog and shredded the rest into tiny pieces for you.
Really, next time I won't hold it for five minutes while you lick it.
I'll only hold it for three. But that's it!
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